


Then maybe you shouldn't ask

by Thapphireth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-31 00:57:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3958429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thapphireth/pseuds/Thapphireth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robb, Jon and Theon play a drinking game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then maybe you shouldn't ask

"Tell us. . . A dirty secret."

Jon snorted.

"He doesn't _have_ any! Everything dirty he runs to you to run his filthy mouth about!"

Theon waved his cup at Jon indignantly.

"I don't _run_ to him! And I do have a dirty secret, mind you, Snow."

Robb tried not to look too triumphant, but the wine made him too easy to read. _Even easier than usual_ , Theon mused. Jon sat a little more upright in his chair.

"Well, we're all ears then. What could be so dirty that even you wouldn't want to say it? A retired whore?"

Robb snorted.

"He'd have a whore without a tooth in her head if she was willing."

Theon endured the taunting with a smirk directed at both Stark sons.

"Oh, you're not going to like it. Are you sure you can stomach it?"

"You're just bluffing is all!" Jon said, helping himself to some more wine. The servants had deserted the kitchen at this hour, and on some nights, the three of them spent a few hours there, drinking and laughing, the feud between Jon and Theon momentarily forgotten.

"Spill it already!" urged Robb eagerly, with the air of someone who knows they have won.

"Well. . ." Theon took a sip from his cup.

"It's actually fortunate I have a cock between m'legs, you know?"

He looked directly at Robb with a confident smirk, and Robb looked a bit perplexed.

"And why is that?" he asked, frowning slightly. Theon's smirk turned into a grin.

"Because otherwise Lord Stark would've begot at least a bastard or three on me", he finished, draining his cup. Jon spat his wine.

"You're lying!"

He turned to Robb.

"See? I knew he had nothing! You cheated!"

Robb hadn't said a word. He was still staring at Theon with his lips closed tightly.

"I'm not lying", he said, "and Robb knows it, don't you, Robb?"

"Oh, come now, like he's ever going to believe you! Robb, say something, you know he's lying!"

Robb kept his silence. For a second, Jon looked between the two of them, unsure.

"Robb?"

Robb opened his mouth, but Theon did not give him time to speak.

"He knew there was someone, someone I was meeting with and would not tell him about. He's been pestering me about it for months, and now he has his answer, don't you, Robb?"

Jon looked at Theon now.

"Come now, if you're jesting, it isn't funny. You don't want a serving girl to hear it and start a rumor in the castle."

Neither Theon not Robb said anything. They kept staring at each other, Robb with a shocked expression, Theon still with a hint of a toothy smile.

"Are you serious?" Jon finally asked slowly. That seemed to break the spell.

"Aye," said Theon, nodding his head.

"Are you going to hit me?"

"Why?"

Robb had tried to look demanding, but his voice had betrayed him and sounded rather weak. Theon shrugged.

"Knowing the Ironborn, it's best if I give him a good reason not to want my head separated from my neck. Besides, he's a good lay."

Jon let out a choked noise of disgust, then drained his cup in a few desperate gulps. Robb still had not moved. He was grinding his teeth, staring at Theon with a hard expression.

"Are you all right, mate?" Theon asked finally, somewhat concerned. He had expected to be called a liar, or disgusting, but this harsh silence was starting to disconcert him. Robb took a breath, looked down at his cup, then back up at Theon.

"Did he ever force himself on you?"

Jon looked at Theon as if it were the first time he really saw him. Theon flailed his hands wildly, alarmed.

"Wow, wow, wow no! It all. . . Oh man, it all came from me!"

Jon winced.

"Like I told you, I was worried the Ironborn wouldn't behave, so I figured I must find some way to make myself wanted here, at least by your father. And well. . . I'm the next thing to a whore, ain't I?"

Robb frowned.

"I never meant to. . . degrade anything. I'm sorry, okay?"

Robb shook his head, still frowning.

"Don't apologize. He is the one who did you wrong."

He sighed, defeated.

"If anything, he should apologize to you. That thing. . . it isn't right."

Theon raised his hands at the ceiling.

"How do I have to tell you? I'm the one who started it! I threw myself at him until he stopped resisting! You have no idea-"

Robb stood up and interrupted him.

"It was wrong of him to use you,instead of reassure you that he wouldn't hurt you. Because he wouldn't, and you know it."

Theon sighed.

"I'm a hostage, Robb. He wouldn't like it, but he would. Well. Maybe if I give him enough he won't."

When Jon spoke, his voice sounded tense and his fists were closed. Theon felt strangely reassured by this display of anger coming from him. An angry Jon he knew more how to deal with than a sorry Robb.

"I don't want to know the details, I just want an honest answer. Are you all right?"

_Gods, not him too!_

"Yes, I am!" he snapped. "If you weren't such a pure soul you'd know that fucking is _fun_!"

"Theon-" Robb started, but Jon was already pushing past him and out into the corridor.

"What now? I didn't even say anything about bas. . . oh, shit, I did, didn't I?"

Robb sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"It's not that, Theon."

"What is it then? It's not my fault the great Eddard Stark can't keep it in his breeches!"

Robb gave him a warning look.

"What _is_ it?"

Robb now looked somewhat incredulous instead of angry. Theon felt more confused than the whole thing warranted, and his head was starting to spin. It made him angry.

"You've never noticed?"

"Noticed what? I'm not a seer!"

Robb sighed again, looking for all the world like he wished for the ground to swallow him.

"Jon. . . Jon likes you."

Theon snorted.

"No he doesn't! We can't bear to be in each other's presence, remember? He's too good for the likes of me!"

"Theon. He _wants_ you."

Theon opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"He does?" he croaked.

"Yes, he does. And I don't want to remember this conversation, so I'm going to bed, and tomorrow we'll just all pretend like nothing happened. Good night." he said, leaving too.

Theon stood alone in the kitchen for a few seconds, then he said, "shit", and left to find Jon, his gut twisting in his belly.


End file.
